Chandler Bing’s Best Comebacks Part 3

I’d care if the person I reblogged this from committed suicide.

musicnerdery:

Seriously tumblr.
I dont ever ask you guys for anything.
But this is a time where we need your help.
Please.
Call. Email. Reblog. 
SOMETHING.

posted 5 hours ago with 33,088 notes
via:all-too-well source:musicnerdery
Anonymous:
What's the most illegal thing you ever did?

sephyerite:

almanzapedia:

At Stanford there was this Professor who was a total bitch and she taught British Literature, which was cool. Except she taught only her opinions of the books and it didn’t help me as a writer. I went to school to learn new things to improve my craft, not have someone else’s opinions carved onto my forehead.

So anyway, for our final project, she asked us to write a ten page paper on why the color symbolism in Othello was so significant. I did some research and it turned out that she did her entire graduate thesis on this very subject. I was mad. This wasn’t teaching, this was boosting her ego. SO I wrote a ten page essay on why color symbolism in Othello wasn’t significant, satirizing it to the point of no return, saying that her opinion was an opinion and shouldn’t be taken seriously.

SHe failed me, needless to say. So in retaliation, I responded by baking a batch of brownies laced with weed and laxatives and delivered them myself to the professor hours before her big graduation speech. I told her that it was a peace offering, my way of apologizing and asking if I could do anything to fix my grade.

She refused to fix my grade.

In the end, she shit herself on stage.

I didn’t regret it.

No mercy.

posted 5 hours ago with 191,314 notes
via:jump-thenfall source:almanzapedia

ejakulation:

Rumours that London is on high terror alert for tomorrow and not to use tubes. Stay Safe.

posted 5 hours ago with 291 notes
via:might-not-be-the-golden-one source:ejakulation

masturbraiding:

Do you ever catch yourself thinking rude things about someone or judging them and you’re like “hey stop that, that’s not nice don’t u do that”

posted 5 hours ago with 45,248 notes
via:stoodthereandwatched source:masturbraiding

(Source: i-justreally-like-cats-okay)

all-too-well:

to think this is the same seven time grammy award winning, record setting, world dominating artist. (x)

ohmywideeyedgaze:

hiphopfightsplaque:

cutebabe:

nooneneedsfeminism:

THERE IS NO PATRIARCHY.

THERE IS NO WAGE GAP.

THERE IS NO RAPE CULTURE.

FEMINISTS, STOP CREATING ABSURD, ILLOGICAL AND MYTHOLOGICAL THEORIES TO PROMOTE YOUR HATE  MOVEMENT.

do you even live on earth or like are you blogging somewhere on neptune if so hows the food there 

THERE IS NO WAR IN BA SING SE

image

posted 6 hours ago with 101,023 notes
via:ohmywideeyedgaze source:nooneneedsfeminism

slayboybunny:

so i was getting a bunch of gross asks in my inbox and i didnt know why and then one of my sweeter followers sent me a link to this fuckery so i thought i’d share. here’s the thing: this is not an isolated event. i get shit like this all the time. at least once a month someone directs me to some kind of thread where i am public discourse, always exploitative discussions regarding me and my body, and usually something to do with feminism. and this is the reality of many women online, fat women especially. whether im being disgustingly sexualized or mindlessly hated, i cant seem to win. all because i have the audacity to visibly exist on an online platform. 

this is a post to clarify, since so many of you seemed to have forgotten: i am a person. i’m not a topic, i’m not an erotic fabrification, my body is not your forum. my existence isn’t meant to get you off and it isn’t meant for you to express your shitty bigoted opinions. who i am, how i look, what i do has nothing to do with you. i exist for myself and myself alone. i have interests, hobbies, passions, heart breaks, and triumphs. when i am dissected in this manner, with no regards to me as a person, without acknowledging that this is a breathing, living human being you are speaking about, it is hateful ignorance. it is an act of violent disrespect and blatant objectification. it is perpetuating the complete disregard for women’s bodies and their right to autonomy. 

i am a person and i will be treated as such. i am not tolerating this or any hatespeech directed my way. i refuse to be reduced in this manner. i will continue to be the fabulous, vibrant woman of integrity i am and will do all that i can to stop anyone who decides this is an appropriate way to treat a human being. furthermore, im not blocking any names because if you feel comfortable enough to publicly speak so hatefully about someone, you can certainly reap what you sow. i hope you feel uncomfortable when the spotlight shines and there is visibility for your shitty actions.

so here’s my request: STOP engaging in this type of behavior. CALL OUT those who do. protect and, more importantly, respect women online and off. thanks for reading and have a nice day!

posted 6 hours ago with 5,282 notes
via:jump-thenfall source:slayboybunny